To the people I loved,
As you may have realised I haven't been arounf lately, I'm sorry. I want to start this like any break up by saying, it's not you it's me, and i with that it didn't have to come to this. As you may recall this is not the first time I have disapeared bit I worry it may be the last.
I suffer from fits of anxiety and it now comes to my realisation rhat my more server panic attacks only occur when I am out with you. I don't think it's axactly your fault, I mean clearly it's my panic, but sometimes I feel like you don't understand, and I know that my fear of people not understanding and fear of making people uncomfortable just increase that panic.
My fear of panicing, ruining your night, or having no escape is what causes me to go hyper drive and there is nothing I can do.
Unfortunately due to this lack of control I have decided to do what is only fair on you. Stop going out with you guys. Honestly, it kills me, I have had the best times of my life with you girls, but until this panic has gone, and that will take a while, I need to stop.
Who knows, maybe soon I will be able to just hang out with you and watch musicals like old time, if you'll still accept me, but until then... I'll miss you and I'm sorry.
See you in the future ladies.
Yours Always, That Friend That Was There ♡
For those that are confused, this is a letter to a bunch of dear friends I have neglected because of reasons that are probably clear, they don't read this blog, but sometimes they check... maybe. Hopefully they'll find this, because I'm to scared to say this out loud. Anyway I comunicate better through text.
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